The Hidden Cost of Not Choosing Yourself: Why Transformation Starts with One Brave Decision
Have you ever paused to consider that sometimes, the biggest barrier to your next chapter of your leadership journey is simply you? In my experience, personal and professional transformation doesn’t usually begin with a grand gesture.
More often, it begins with a gentle inner voice that whispers:
“This isn’t working.”
“You were made for more.”
“It’s time to choose yourself.”
Here’s the challenge: as successful professionals and high-achieving leaders, we’re often taught to keep performing, to push through, and to put others’ needs before our own. We quiet those inner nudges, rationalize our discomfort, and stay in roles or routines that no longer serve us, simply because it feels safer than stepping into the unknown.
But what we often overlook is the hidden cost of ignoring our own needs and desires. It’s not just about staying where we are; it’s about what we forfeit by not taking the chance: our potential, our peace, our fulfillment.
The cost of not choosing ourselves is often greater than we realize.
My Brave Decision
One of the hardest, scariest choices I’ve ever made was leaving behind a 28-plus year career in television news. That career gave me visibility, credibility, and a platform I had spent years building. Becoming an entrepreneur was never part of my plan. For a long time, I resisted it, convinced I wasn’t “business-minded” or smart enough to succeed on my own.
Then, a mentor reminded me that my reputation and credibility were valuable. Why give that value away to someone else? At that moment, something shifted. The fear and self-doubt I had carried for so long gave way to clarity. I realized I didn’t have to know everything; I just had to begin. Right there in his office, I chose to launch my own business.
Did I know what I was doing? Not at all. Was I scared? Absolutely. But I said yes to myself anyway.
That first brave yes set everything in motion. One step led to the next, building momentum. Momentum became mastery, and mastery brought deeper meaning to my work and my life.
That is the true power of choosing yourself. And now, I want to help you discover how you can choose yourself, too.
The First Step Doesn’t Have to Be Loud
You don’t need a five-year plan or to overhaul your entire life overnight. What you need is one intentional, courageous action. A quiet yet powerful move that says, “I’m not waiting anymore.”
This can look different for everyone, such as:
Saying no to something that drains you.
Saying yes to a conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Asking for help, support, or mentorship.
Finally committing to the goal you keep putting on the back burner—whether that’s writing the book, applying for the promotion, or starting the class.
Trusting your gut when it says this isn’t aligned anymore, even if no one else understands.
These decisions might not come with applause or affirmation. But they matter deeply because they’re yours. Each one is a declaration of self-trust. A sign that you’re willing to honor your truth, even in quiet moments. And this first step can lead to the moment that changes everything.
What Happens When You Do
The moment you give yourself permission to choose you, everything begins to shift.
Not because the world suddenly opens doors, but because you finally stop waiting for permission and start opening them for yourself.
You stop shrinking to fit environments that no longer suit you, even if they once felt like home.
You start reaching for possibilities that once felt too far out of reach, or maybe even too “selfish” to pursue.
You begin showing up not out of obligation or fear of letting others down, but from a place of purpose, clarity, and self-trust.
Over time, these brave decisions add up. Every yes to yourself becomes a building block in the foundation of a life that reflects who you truly are, not just who the world expects you to be.
You build resilience that allows you to grow rather than just survive, and self-confidence to lead and live authentically rather than just perform. These are the building blocks of a life of integrity that’s not just impressive on paper, but deeply fulfilling in practice.
That’s what the IT Factor™ is all about. It’s not an elusive quality reserved for a select few. It’s Intentional Transformation, grounded in authenticity, clarity, and courage. And it’s available to you, starting now.
What’s the Brave Decision You’re Avoiding?
If you’re feeling stuck right now, I invite you to pause and go inward.
Clarity doesn’t always come from doing more. Often, it comes from asking yourself the right questions about what you may be putting off:
What am I afraid to admit isn’t working?
What story am I telling myself about why I can’t change?
What’s one small step I can take today to choose myself?
Transformation doesn’t begin when everything is perfect. It begins when you stop waiting for the perfect moment and choose to show up with courage. You don’t have to leap all the way into the unknown today. But you do have to take the first step. Your next chapter of your leadership journey is waiting for you.
And it begins with one brave decision, one that says:
“This time, I choose me.”
And I’m cheering you on.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, "Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter": The winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, and an Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
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