Are You Taking Up the Right Amount of Space?
Have you ever found yourself in a room where you know you belong, but still hold back? You wait for the perfect moment to speak, you soften your perspective, or you choose silence over the risk of interruption. On the surface, it can look like thoughtfulness or professional restraint. On the inside, it often feels like hesitation. But over time, it has a cost.
Many high-achieving professionals, especially women in leadership, learn to walk this line early in their careers. You do not want to dominate the conversation, but you do not want to fade into the background either. That careful balancing act becomes second nature. And without realizing it, it can quietly shape how others experience your executive presence long before you have said a word.
The Difference Between Restraint and Self-Suppression
There is an important distinction that most leadership conversations never make: the difference between intentional restraint and habitual self-suppression. Intentional restraint is a choice. You listen, you observe, you wait for the moment when your contribution will have the greatest impact. That is a genuine leadership skill and a sign of emotional intelligence.
Habitual self-suppression, on the other hand, forms when holding back stops being a conscious decision and starts being your default. It’s what happens when the original reason for staying quiet (such as not wanting to seem aggressive, not wanting to stand out, or not wanting to be wrong) fades into the background, while the behavior remains. You are no longer making a strategic choice. You are operating from a habit you may have never consciously chosen.
And that habit, repeated across rooms, meetings, and high-stakes moments, erodes your executive presence one moment at a time.
The Invisible Cost of Playing Small
When you consistently take up less space than you have earned, the impact compounds. Ideas go unshared. Contributions go unnoticed. Opportunities move forward without your voice in the conversation.
This is not abstract. Research consistently shows that executive presence, the way you are perceived before, during, and after you speak, is one of the most significant factors in career advancement. Studies suggest executive presence accounts for as much as 26 percent of what it takes to get promoted into senior leadership. And a major component of that 26% is visibility: whether people register you as fully present, fully engaged, and fully confident in your right to be in the room.
When you shrink, even in small ways, it makes you easier to overlook. Not because your ideas aren’t powerful, but because your presence isn’t fully aligned with them.
Make One Small Shift
I was reminded of this in a very tangible way. Following my keynote, a woman came up to me sharing that she had recently stepped into a new leadership role at a tech-focused investment firm. She was the only woman on her team, and often struggled to feel seen and heard in meetings.
As we talked, something immediately stood out. She is petite in size and therefore, the height of the conference room table’s surface hit closer to her chest than her waist, which unintentionally made her appear smaller in the room — both physically and perceptually.
I offered her one suggestion: raise your chair.
It may sound almost too simple. But in that moment, it was about more than physical positioning. It was about claiming equal footing. When you sit lower than everyone around you, you can appear less authoritative before you have said a single word. That small adjustment, can literally elevate you to eye level, and it changes how others perceive your executive presence and how you experience your own authority.
Sometimes taking up space starts with something as practical as where you sit and how high.
Redefining What It Means to Take Up Space
Taking up space does not mean dominating the room or speaking the most. It means aligning how you show up physically, vocally, and energetically with the value you bring. It means letting your ideas be heard without over-editing them first. It means trusting that your perspective belongs in the conversation—not once you have proven yourself, but now. And it means noticing when you have made yourself smaller to fit an expectation that no longer serves the leader you are becoming.
For many professionals who pride themselves on being thoughtful and collaborative, this shift can feel uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign that you are stepping into a version of yourself that is more fully expressed, more fully present, and more fully aligned. That is exactly what building executive presence looks like from the inside.
How Body Language Speaks Volumes, and Shifts To Make Today
Developing executive presence is not only about what you say. It is about what you communicate before you ever open your mouth. Your posture, your position in the room, and even the way you hold your hands all shape how others experience you.
Throughout my career in broadcasting, I became highly attuned to these signals. I rarely, if ever, sat with my hands clasped tightly in front of me on the news desk. That posture reads as closed off, and guarded. Instead, I kept my hands open, relaxed, and visible. Open hands communicate confidence, availability, and a genuine willingness to engage—even through a TV screen. These are details that are easy to overlook, but they matter enormously. Long before your words are registered, your executive presence is already being evaluated.
If you want to strengthen your executive presence, start with awareness. Notice where you sit in the room, your posture and what your hands are doing. Notice when you hesitate to contribute, and pay attention to the thought that surfaces in that moment. Is it strategic restraint, or is it an old habit showing up without an invitation?
Then choose one small adjustment.
Sit at the table rather than along the perimeter.
Raise your chair.
Share your perspective without the qualifier at the beginning.
Keep your hands open.
Speak without apologizing for speaking.
These adjustments may seem insignificant, but over time they shift something much larger: how others perceive and experience your executive presence, and just as importantly, how you experience your own authority as a leader.
Your Presence Is Not Accidental
Executive presence is not a personality trait reserved for the loudest or most confident person in the room. It is something every leader can develop, and it begins with self-awareness and intention.
The way you take up space, physically, vocally, and energetically, is already communicating something to every room you walk into. The real question is whether that communication reflects the leader you know yourself to be?
So the next time you find yourself in a room where your voice matters, pause and ask yourself: Am I taking up the space I have earned?
If the answer is not yet, that is not a flaw. It is simply an invitation to do more - and it starts with a single, intentional choice.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter, the winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, a Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of myserviceshere.
My podcast, the"Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.
Interested in Taking Yourself or Your Executive Team to the Next Level?
Brunner Communications assists high-profile individuals and organizations in sharpening and developing top level business communication, executive presence, and public speaking skills. Our passionate team provides one-on-one executive business coaching, and runs specialized business workshops. Through customized training, clients learn the necessary skills to become great communicators and build a marketable reputation.