Before You Write Your New Year Goals, Ask This One Essential Question:
"Who are you choosing to become—day by day, choice by choice?"
It’s a question many of us overlook in January, and it’s often why our goals lose momentum by February. People fail to realize that setting goals without aligning them to their authentic selves is rarely effective. When your ambitions don’t reflect who you truly are, or who you’re ready to become, you’re building your future on a shaky foundation.
As a keynote speaker and coach—and someone who has experienced a complete professional reinvention—I’ve seen this in myself and in others: The most meaningful goals don’t begin with what you want. They begin with who you are willing to become, and by making the choices daily. Motivation is a feeling. Discipline is action. So before you finalize your goals, grab your planner, or draft that vision board… pause. And ask yourself this one, powerful, uncomfortable question.
Why Most Resolutions Fail Before February
We’ve all witnessed this pattern. Whether at the gym, in the boardroom, or in our personal growth journals, we start the year energized and determined. But somewhere between January 1st and February 15th, that momentum fades. Life gets busy, and we slip back into familiar patterns—not because we lack willpower, but because our goals weren’t anchored in something meaningful and executable.
Here’s what’s really going on:
The goal is identity-aspirational, but not behavior-anchored.
When goals focus only on identity (“who I want to be”) without translating that identity into specific actions (“how I behave”), they’re difficult to sustain. Identity becomes powerful only when it’s expressed through clear, repeatable outcomes. For example, saying “I want to be seen as the smartest person in the room” is identity-driven, which can be vague and doesn’t necessarily set you up for success. On the other hand, being more specific by saying, “I want my conversations to build trust,” is outcome-driven and far more actionable.The goal is rooted in intention, not commitment.
Intention reflects what we hope will happen, sparking inspiration and meaning. But intention alone can only take you so far. Commitment reflects what we’re willing to consistently choose, and translates vision into behavior. Commitment delivers because it’s anchored in daily decisions, not just good intentions.The goal is focused on belief, not behavior.
Belief feels powerful because it lives in our identity. We tell ourselves, “I just need to believe in myself more.” And while belief matters, it’s also invisible and might not change anything in your daily life. Behavior is instead observable, manifesting in new habits and choices when motivation fades. Focus on clear, measurable actions that give belief somewhere to land.
Unless you’ve done the deeper internal work, those goals rarely last. The real challenge goes beyond time management and into alignment.
What Leaders Often Get Wrong About Goals: Identity Without Behavior
In executive coaching sessions, I work with high-performing leaders who are no strangers to goal-setting. They’ve been trained to think in milestones, KPIs, and outcomes. But metrics alone do not create truly impactful leadership. The most transformative leaders, those who inspire, influence, and innovate, are not just focused on results. These questions can be translated into reflections of your identity while still focusing on behavioral shifts and commitment. For example, leaders should instead be asking:
How do I truly envision myself becoming by the end of this year?
What habits reflect that identity, and how can I incorporate them?
What patterns am I willing to release in order to grow and lead differently?
When you begin with identity, the strategy naturally follows. If you skip this step, you may find yourself working hard, but moving in the wrong direction.
The Real Question: Who Are You Becoming?
Each January, we tend to focus on doing more. But, what if this year growth came from letting go of what no longer serves you? Who are you becoming, and what do you need to let go of to move forward? This is the heart of Intentional Transformation™. Becoming the next version of yourself is not just about building new habits. It’s about how you consistently show up. It is also about letting go of the stories, relationships, roles, or routines that no longer align with your direction.
Ask yourself:
What am I clinging to that no longer serves me?
What version of myself am I trying to protect or prove?
What am I willing to let go of in service of something greater?
Gaining this level of clarity is not always easy, but it is where true transformation begins.
How I Designed My Next Chapter With Intention
When I stepped away from my career as a television news anchor after nearly 30 years, sure, I had a vision, but I did not have a guaranteed path ahead of me. What I did have was alignment. I knew I wanted to help others step into their next chapter with confidence and clarity. I wanted to speak, coach, and build a life that felt true to who I am.
So I got honest with myself. I let go of the identity I had held onto for decades. I also let go of perfectionism and chose courage over certainty. I built a new chapter around the values that mattered most to me: presence, authenticity, influence, and intentional growth. That journey is now the foundation of The IT Factor™, and it’s what I teach others to do every day.
A Final Word of Tough Love
If you are setting goals this year simply because they look good on paper, pause for a moment.
If you are building a vision based on who you think you should be, rather than who you truly are, take a moment to reflect.
If you’re sprinting toward success without ever asking whether it aligns with your core identity... Breathe.
Start with the real question: “Who are you choosing to become?” And what are you truly ready to leave behind?
That’s where your next chapter begins.
Interested in Taking Yourself or Your Executive Team to the Next Level?
Brunner Communications assists high-profile individuals and organizations in sharpening and developing top level business communication, executive presence, and public speaking skills. Our passionate team provides one-on-one executive business coaching, and runs specialized business workshops. Through customized training, clients learn the necessary skills to become great communicators and build a marketable reputation.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter, the winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, a Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.