The Leadership Skill That’s Hardest to Fake: Presence That Holds a Room
People don’t respond to what you say, but to who you are in the moment you share it.
That’s the difference between true influence and just adding to the noise. In leadership, presence is the one skill you can’t delegate or fake for long. It’s the energy people sense before you even speak, and it’s often why they choose to trust, follow, or remember you.
So why is presence so difficult to imitate? What makes it such a powerful differentiator for leaders? And, how you can intentionally build the kind of presence that truly holds a room?
Why People Read Energy Before They Register Words
Long before someone processes what you’re saying, they’re scanning your tone, body language, and emotional congruence. Neuroscience shows that humans are wired to detect nonverbal cues in milliseconds. This is especially true in high-stakes environments—boardrooms, keynotes, interviews—where people are subconsciously asking: Do I feel safe with you? Do I trust you? Are you walking your talk?
Presence isn’t about theatrics or trying to command the room with volume. It’s about creating resonance. When your inner state matches your outward expression, your presence becomes magnetic. If there’s a disconnect, people sense it even if they can’t put it into words. Presence is about energy first, and content second.
Micro-Behaviors That Signal Confidence (or Insecurity)
The most impactful leaders are often the most subtle. Why? Because true confidence reveals itself in the smallest behaviors:
Eye contact that’s steady, not forceful.
Posture that’s open and grounded, not defensive or overbearing.
Pauses that reflect thoughtfulness, not fear.
Stillness that conveys authority, not anxious energy.
On the other hand, when we try to perform with confidence, it often comes across as overcompensating; talking too much, over-explaining, fidgeting, or even arrogance. Even if these habits are unconscious, they send a clear message.
The good news is that presence is a skill you can practice. When you learn to regulate your internal experience, especially during stressful moments, your microbehaviors will naturally reflect that calm and confidence.
Why “Performative Confidence” Collapses Under Pressure
Many aspiring leaders fall into the trap of trying to act confidently instead of truly being confident. But when stress arrives, that surface-level confidence often falls away.
I’ve seen this with clients who can deliver a flawless presentation in private, but struggle when the spotlight is on. Or executives who rely on rehearsed scripts, only to freeze when the conversation takes an unexpected turn. The reason? Confidence that isn’t grounded in self-awareness rarely holds up under pressure. True presence is resilient. It’s not about being perfect, but about being steady, prepared, and aligned with your purpose.
The key is to shift from performing to embodying presence. Instead of asking, 'How do I look?' try asking, 'How do I want to show up at this moment?'
How I Developed Presence Live On-Camera
During my nearly three decades anchoring live television, I learned firsthand what presence under pressure truly means. Oftentimes, there were no second chances. When breaking news interrupted everything I had prepared, there was no space for panic.
My role was more than just delivering the news. I needed to be the calm in the chaos, offering a sense of grounded authority that helped viewers feel informed and safe. One of the most appreciated comments I ever received from viewers was that while they realized I often had to share “bad news,” somehow coming from me, they knew everything would be ok. Today, I share those same “presence principles” with leaders and speakers. The lesson is clear: presence isn’t a personality trait, but a skill you can practice and a state you can cultivate. And it always starts from within.
How to Build Unshakeable Presence
Building presence isn’t about charisma. It’s about self-regulation, intention, and alignment. Here are a few suggestions on how to build this presence:
Use Your Breath as an Anchor: Grounding begins in the body. Before a high-stakes moment, try this centering technique: take three slow, conscious breaths.
Clarify your why: Presence deepens when you connect to your purpose. Ask yourself: “Why does this moment matter? What does this person, team or audience need from me right now?
The power of the pause: Confidence lives in the pause. Before answering a tough question or delivering a key message, give yourself a moment of silence. That pause allows you to breathe, collect your thoughts, and respond with clarity rather than react with urgency.
When you look within and invest in yourself, you can rewire your nervous system and reshape your relationship with visibility and impact.
Final Word: Real Presence Can’t Be Faked
The leaders we remember are those who make us feel something: calm, confidence, trust, and inspiration. That is presence. It’s not a performance or a persona, but a true expression of who you are, aligned with your values and what you stand for. So the next time you prepare for a speech, a challenging conversation, or a defining career moment, ask yourself:
What energy am I bringing into the room?
What truth am I willing to embody?
And how can I ground myself in something deeper than performance?
Because presence isn’t what you project. It’s what you practice.
Ready to strengthen your executive presence?
Join me for Presence Office Hours—a focused, 1:1 session designed to help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and credibility in high-stakes moments. Whether you're preparing for a keynote, a critical conversation, or a career transition, this is your space to refine your voice, presence, and impact.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter, the winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, a Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.
Interested in Taking Yourself or Your Executive Team to the Next Level?
Brunner Communications assists high-profile individuals and organizations in sharpening and developing top level business communication, executive presence, and public speaking skills. Our passionate team provides one-on-one executive business coaching, and runs specialized business workshops. Through customized training, clients learn the necessary skills to become great communicators and build a marketable reputation.