The 3 Voices That Quiet Your Confidence (And How to Reclaim It)
Confidence doesn’t disappear overnight. It slips away quietly, little by little—sometimes without you even realizing it’s happening—through the stories we tell ourselves and the inner voices we allow to take center stage. I’ve seen this not only in my own life, but in the journeys of so many high-achieving professionals I’ve had the privilege to coach. Outwardly, they appear confident and accomplished. But behind closed doors, self-doubt often lingers. Why? Because real confidence isn’t just about how you show up for others. It’s about the dialogue you have with yourself when no one else is around.
In my book Dare to Own You, I share my pivotal moment: stepping away from a 28-year career in television. I had built a name, a reputation, a platform. But as I considered launching my own business, an inner voice told me I wasn’t smart enough, nor business-minded. That voice wasn’t the truth. It was fear, perfectionism, and an old story that no longer matched who I was becoming. Over time, I learned those voices are limiting beliefs, stories we tell ourselves that we come to believe as fact when there is absolutely zero truth to them. They are just stories, and stories can be rewritten. That’s what I want to offer you: how to spot the three inner voices that can quiet your confidence, and how to reclaim it so you can move forward with clarity, purpose, and presence.
Voice 1: The Perfectionist
This voice holds a lot of power. It tells you that unless everything is flawless, you can’t move forward or embrace new opportunities. It urges you to wait for the perfect timing, the perfect resume, the perfect pitch. But perfection isn’t required for progress. When I stepped into entrepreneurship, I didn’t have all the answers. What I did have was the courage to trust myself and take the next step. I made mistakes and learned from them. Moving forward, even when things weren’t perfect, is what allowed me to build a business and a brand that reflects who I truly am. Confidence grows when you give yourself permission to act, even if it’s imperfect. Waiting for perfection only keeps your potential on pause.
Voice 2: The Comparer
This voice thrives in places like social media and professional circles where we’re surrounded by highlight reels and polished success stories. It whispers, “They’re already doing it better than you.” It tries to convince you that you’re behind, that you’ll never catch up, that your unique journey doesn’t measure up. But comparison clouds your clarity. When you focus on someone else’s path, you lose sight of your own. It’s crucial to focus on yourself and connect the dots of your own story. Every chapter, every win, every setback lays the foundation for what comes next. Your experiences, your values, and your voice are what set you apart. When you shift your focus from seeking approval to aligning with your own purpose, confidence follows.
Voice 3: The Inner Critic
This voice carries the weight of old failures, missed opportunities, and beliefs that may not even belong to you. It says, “You’ve failed before, so why would this time be different?” It urges you to play it safe, to shrink back, to stay with what’s familiar. Often, it shows up as impostor syndrome: the nagging feeling that you’re not deserving of the success you’ve achieved, that you’re just pretending and someone will eventually notice. This inner script can get especially loud during times of transition or growth, even when you’ve earned your seat at the table.
Growth requires letting go of old versions of yourself. One of the most powerful steps in transformation is realizing you are not defined by your past. The stories that once held you back can become the fuel for your next chapter. Confidence is built when you acknowledge your past, honor what it taught you, and choose to lead from who you are becoming, not who you used to be.
When You Control Your Voice, You Change Your Story
Reclaiming your confidence doesn’t happen in a single moment. It’s a process of noticing which voice is speaking, pausing to question it, and choosing to replace it with one rooted in courage, clarity, and truth. You don’t have to wait until you feel fully ready. You just need to take the next intentional step, one that will also move you towards unlocking your ‘IT Factor.’ When you do, you build momentum not by forcing it, but by moving in alignment with your true self.
If you find yourself holding back or doubting your voice, pause and reflect: Which of these inner voices is speaking the loudest? What could shift if you started listening to your own wisdom instead? You are not behind. You are not too late. You are never alone. The next chapter of your story is already unfolding. Step forward with confidence.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, "Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter": The winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, and an Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
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Brunner Communications assists high-profile individuals and organizations in sharpening and developing top level business communication, executive presence, and public speaking skills. Our passionate team provides one-on-one executive business coaching, and runs specialized business workshops. Through customized training, clients learn the necessary skills to become great communicators and build a marketable reputation.