The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have…
The One With Yourself
This season is filled with reminders of love: cards, flowers, special dinners, and grand gestures. We honor the relationships that matter most. Yet, there’s one relationship that quietly influences every decision, every conversation, and every leadership moment, but rarely receives the same attention.
It’s the relationship you have with yourself.
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for how you show up at work, at home, and as a leader. When you are grounded in clarity, confidence, and self-trust, your executive presence feels authentic and steady. When that foundation is missing, everything feels heavier. You may second-guess your choices, stretch your energy too thin, and wonder why success doesn’t feel as rewarding as it should.
Before you can lead others or develop stronger teams, you must first lead yourself.
The Quiet Signs You’re Out of Alignment
Misalignment whispers in those quiet moments, almost without a trace. It can show up as fatigue that lingers, tension before meetings you once enjoyed, or a quiet sense of dread on Sunday evenings. You might find yourself asking, Why does something feel off when everything looks good on paper, and my career is moving forward?
When your actions no longer align with who you are, your body and energy notice first. You might second-guess decisions, overthink conversations, or move through your day on autopilot. These are not flaws; they are signals. They are invitations to slow down, check in with yourself, and focus on your wellbeing and growth. Your inner voice is often the first and most honest leadership advisor you have, if you’re willing to listen.
Why Self-Alignment Is a Form of Self-Respect
Leadership development often focuses on strategy, communication, and performance. While those are important, true and lasting leadership begins with a deep sense of self-awareness and self-respect.
If your calendar, commitments, or career path are driven by what looks impressive instead of what feels true, resentment can build quietly. You say “yes” when you mean “maybe,” take on more when your energy is already stretched, and keep trying to prove yourself even after you’ve earned your place.
Over time, that disconnect turns into burnout. Honoring your values, strengths, and needs is not indulgent. It is essential for preventing burnout and achieving long-term success. When you respect your boundaries and energy, you lead with clarity, presence, and confidence. You make choices from intention, not obligation, and those around you notice your steadiness.
Self-alignment is the foundation of authentic leadership. When you lead from who you truly are, others trust and follow you.
How to Practice Self-Love as a Leader, All Year Long
Self-love doesn’t have to be complicated, or even dramatic. It could mean setting a boundary around your time, delegating a task you’ve been holding onto, having a conversation you’ve been postponing, or giving yourself permission to pursue what truly excites you instead of what just looks good on your résumé.
These are not grand gestures that require devoted energy that you don’t have. They are small, intentional actions that support your growth and long-term success. Over time, these choices add up to real, lasting transformation. The most important first step towards self-love is finding the courage to show up and choose yourself in these small, meaningful moments above everything (and everyone) else.
So this month, take the time to reflect on what you’ve been putting off in order to prioritize others’ interests or what seems to be expected of you. You’ll realize the impact it has on the way you show up for others, and how valuable self-love really is. Continue taking these small steps year-round through every season and holiday.
Love Yourself Enough to Listen
We often picture self-love as soft and comforting. But in reality, it takes courage. Self-love means telling yourself the truth. It is noticing when something no longer fits and being willing to adjust. It is choosing alignment over appearance, and treating yourself with the same respect and compassion you offer others.
And it isn’t seasonal.
February may remind us to think about love, but the relationship you have with yourself is one you lead every day. The stronger and more honest it is, the more grounded, confident, and impactful your leadership becomes. Because the way you lead your life begins with the way you lead yourself.
Interested in Taking Yourself or Your Executive Team to the Next Level?
Brunner Communications assists high-profile individuals and organizations in sharpening and developing top level business communication, executive presence, and public speaking skills. Our passionate team provides one-on-one executive business coaching, and runs specialized business workshops. Through customized training, clients learn the necessary skills to become great communicators and build a marketable reputation.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter, the winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, a Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.