The Pressure to Be 'Fine': Why Leaders Feel the Loneliest in December
For many leaders, December is like stepping onto a brightly lit stage.
You’re supposed to be thankful, celebratory, motivate your team, and finish strong. Yet behind the scenes, you may feel emotionally drained and deeply, silently tired. That disconnect may even feel heavy. And, if you’ve ever thought, “I should be fine, but I’m not,” know that you are not alone.
Why December Feels Heavy, Even When You’re Grateful
What often goes unspoken is that December isn’t just busy, it’s emotionally charged. From performance reviews and year-end reports to holiday planning, strategic forecasts, and personal reflection, the final weeks of the year often bring a crescendo of responsibilities.
No matter how grateful you may be, expectations run high, and there’s a great deal of invisible work, especially for leaders. You’re holding space for others while managing your own fatigue, goals, and perhaps even some dreams that haven’t yet come to fruition.
The Guilt of Leadership Exhaustion
Many high-achieving leaders carry a sense of guilt in feeling exhausted when gratitude is expected, and in craving solitude when you’re supposed to be present for others. Sometimes, there’s even guilt in questioning whether you want to continue on the same path next year.
Leadership often encourages us to be stoic, but there is a hidden cost to always appearing “fine.” Over time, you may start to overlook your own signals for change. But December has a way of bringing these feelings forward, gently nudging you to recognize what you’ve been holding.
When Leaders Realize It’s Time for a New Chapter
Your reinvention—or re-creation as I like to call it—may happen on January 1st, but it happens more often when you slow down enough to hear your own thoughts again, when you start to listen to that quiet voice inside you that may be saying:
This pace isn’t sustainable.
There has to be a better way to lead.
I’m proud of what I’ve built, but I’m not fulfilled.
If you’re hearing that voice, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s an invitation to make an intentional shift that honors who you are now and what you’re ready to embrace next.
How to Decompress Without Disappearing
Yes, you need rest. But decompressing doesn’t mean you have to disappear. Start small—five minutes of true self-reflection can outweigh an hour of pretending. You don’t need a plan; you simply need to give yourself permission to acknowledge how you truly feel. Consider asking yourself:
What am I tired of carrying into every meeting?
What am I pretending is “fine” that really isn’t?
What parts of my work still energize me?
Give yourself space to reflect rather than react. When you decompress with clarity instead of avoidance, your next chapter becomes a conscious, empowered, intentional shift rather than a collapse.
Strength Isn’t Stoicism. It’s Honesty.
Let’s move beyond the façade of “I’m fine.” True strength in leadership comes from being honest with yourself and others when change is needed. It means allowing people to see your humanity, not just your successes, and leading by example when it comes to rest, boundaries, and integrity.
As you close out the year, don’t just check the boxes — check in with yourself. True leadership isn’t just about holding it together, being fine. It’s about noticing when you’re not, and leading yourself with compassion first before leading others.
Craving more calm and clarity this season?
Explore my self-paced course: Dare: To Find Peace of Mind at BrunnerAcademy.com for a simple, accessible guide to meditation and mindfulness, designed to help you reconnect with yourself and find balance in the midst of this season.
If you enjoyed this blog post, here are some other resources you might enjoy:
My book, Dare To Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams Into Your Next Chapter, the winner of two Feathered Quill Book awards, a Book Excellence award, and recommended by Forbes in 2022 as “a teaching memoir”.
My work as a keynote speaker, executive coach and communication expert. You can read more about more of my services here.
My podcast, the "Live Your Best Life with Liz Brunner" podcast: An award-winning and internationally streamed show that highlights powerful stories of re-creation and reinvention from guests who have taken their life experiences, and used that knowledge to create their “next chapters” and live their best lives.
Interested in Taking Yourself or Your Executive Team to the Next Level?
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